Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo

Advice?
I have no advice, except that short skirts and low cut tops (some how) garner the attention that depression secretly craves...

Iforgotforawhilethatpeoplelikeme


I suppose that's alright though.

EVERYDAY I CAN SEE I CAN THINK I CAN CHANGE-

I WANT TO HAVE IT ALL

-LOOK AT ME I'M SELF ABSORBED, YEA I'M SELF ABSORBED MAN-

- dna -

Somewhere in the rush to do whatever everyone else is doing
i think i forgot to do what i wanted to do
and now i drink
which has no connection
i just wanted anyone who reads this to know.

you've been warned.

Jeff: "what are you doing?" Me: "making you some cool automatic text messages- what do you think: 'hanging out with my mom!'" Jeff: "Thanks sk"

Old men complement me and then I go and unearn these praises by makingout with Jeff which I know is wrong- especially since I don't even like him that way- and I feel bad.



Girls can talk more bullshit than anyone in a ten second period because when they open their mouths their painted red lips distract your ability to discern.


I drank a little too much last night.


and why the fuck does everybody write themselves those self esteem notes? "have the guts to tell the truth" "I am frustrated but that's okay because I know its going to get better" "I love myself"


who wants to do the nothingnoone dance with me?

urban fox

"she blazes into view turning out the night
yea she's a heartbeat killer yea
she will entice you
intoxicating sight
running away wont save you" -mortimer

"IMAJIVEGURUANDIWANTTOWANTTO"-badly drawn boy


ummm last night i madeout with jeff in his truck at the point in stonington burough for 4 1/2 hrs
and there was some pretty good foreplay for once and he told me i could say no and then made sure i
felt comfortable saying no so i did just to see what it felt like to be honest for once.

I WAS HONEST FOR TEN SECONDS OUT OF A SINGLE DAY IN THE YEAR 2005.


Cha-cha-changessss, yea.

12 steps(backwards)

Barbara came over and we fucked up some cookies for a while...

then Mere and stuce showed up and we talked about justin and then next ten years for his rehabilitation....

after which i lost my attention span and started videoing my cat as he chilled in my lap and barbara told everyone about a dream she had had of me....



Me: Hey whatever happened to Dan? somebody told me he was a coke dealer now or something

Barbara: um, Kobe saw Dan in A&P like two years ago and Dan was like "the walls are melting" and Kobe was like "uh.... okay ...bye then" and that was the last time anybody saw Dan.

Me: Gutter search!

Uhhh jeff asked me out tonight, kinda.

he wrote me a letter and told me we should "go together"

and my first thought was "why dont i feel paniced....why dont i feel fireworks....why dont i care?"

sure...why not.

getting support from my mom is like having an bipolar emo kid for your personal cheerleader.

When I was little I had the stars ripped out of my eyes;
now they light up like cheap neon signs from some side street
in a city where eletricity blinds out any essence of natural lights
former existence.

"Think about it first, before you make it worse"-thefilms

"well he's got his mother on his side
up to his neck with selfish pride
it's costing him a lot more than he knows
LA
LA
LA
LA LA
LA LA LA
LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA

laaaaaaa"-THEfilmsblackshoes

Oh, hello

"HE WAS PUSH PUSH PUSHING LIKE HE WAS SELLING SPEED" - THEFILMSstrangehandsdemo

GETMEOUTOFTHERAINGETMEOUTOFTHERAINGETMEOUTOFTHERAIN

Today it snowed and rained and we wrote "very gay" in spanish on the windshield of kobes car- later on kobe insisted on high-fiving me in the kitchen.

*as i walk by doing actual work*
Kobe: give me a high five
Kobe: pref. w/o the dirty towels in your hands
Kobe: pref after you wash your hands
Kobe: oh forget it just wipe your hand off and give me a high five

so i did and then i made him give me a low five because i'll be damnned if i dont always get something in return.

INNOCENT.


innocent.

inceohearent

but innocent still.

Today was, is, and will always be, my dads bday.
but i didnt wish him a happy bday because we havent talked in a year.

thats all.

Tia: what do you want for xmas?
Me: you know what i want for xmas
Me: i want N...i want my bf back

*we hang up*

* a few minutes later my phone rings again, it's jeff*

Jeff: hey, so i was just calling to see what you wanted for xmas
Me: i cant tell you
Jeff: why
Me: i dont want to lie

"And I broke through the roof
to steal your heart but instead went the other direction and eventually found myself in China."

"When i touched your long hair it had made you cry- why?
when you said i dont care you could have been right you know
you know
we have come a long way tonight
such a long way tonight." - the rewinds

Quidnunc comes from Latin quid nunc?, "what now?"

YOU WERE THE STYLISH KID IN THE MOSH PIT AND I WAS ABSOLUTELY KOSHER.

Hope — by Kay Ryan
What's the use
of something
as unstable
and diffuse as hope—
the almost-twin
of making-do,
the isotope
of going on:
what isn't in
the envelope
just before
it isn't:
the always tabled
righting of the present.